January 2012
Depressed and going to bed. Happy new years.
December 2011
Nothing is absolute
And words do not imply truth absolutely
Fear is eternal
Safety is comfort
Comfort is illusion
Love can only exist in present form
Loyalty is everything
Sacrifice is required
And there is no such thing as reward
In the absence of love I cherish violence
After abusing the self I want to inflict on others
Recognizing the beauty in destruction
Crushing everything that feels safe
Suffocating what smiles
Bury this misery in flesh
And shatter the illusion of comfort
We are all vulnerable
We are all disgusting
I am infernal
World eaten whole
Sometimes you can’t reach it
It pulls away and turns its back to you
Cold shoulders and masks and armor
And it feels like winter inside you
Sometimes you are forsaken
Sometimes abandoned with faulty reasons
Everyone wants protection and something they can cling to
But when you let go and hold nothing
And you forfeit security
You taste blood and dirt
You lose the fear that...
What does your heart say?
My mouth is bitter with this taste
My headaches are the constant
That I’ve been looking for in a lover
My stomach is empty like the words chugging towards me. Am I supposed to just learn to cope with this? Sometimes I can kill myself a dozen times a day, and I’m left shuddering.
In these plays there are only protagonists and real props.
I know it...
It’s getting harder to find the skin between the scars
It’s always choosing. One or the other. Safety or pain. Glory or nothing. The one being hurt or the one making the mistakes. Sometimes all of it blurs together and you are the one making mistakes and hurting and being hurt all the same. Sometimes you walk away from something you burnt to the ground and you start catching on fire yourself and everything you touch is burnt. Im tired of ruining...
